I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
