i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
