The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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