I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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