So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize