Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
