You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
