reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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