Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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