this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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