How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
