I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
