Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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