i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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