Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
