he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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