after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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