My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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