Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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