her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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