Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
