OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
