So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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