you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
