I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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