nut hugger
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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