We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
