I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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