Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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