I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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