Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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