watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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