My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
