I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
