So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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