batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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