You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
