you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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