small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
