Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
