Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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