Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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