Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
