I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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