He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
