i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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