Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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