I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
