why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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