i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
