How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
