if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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