So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
