Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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