I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
