I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
