my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.