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apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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