You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.