is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
