I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
