so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
