The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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