I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
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Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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