Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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