Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
