went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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