why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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