apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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