hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
